Humility: Humor's tale

I'm one of those people who's never sick
I've figured anyone who called in sick was either lazy or lacked discipline
I remember only one time during K through 12 when I was sick
It was grade school and I was walking up the steps when I passed out
I was sent to the nurse's office who called my mother
wondering why she sent her son to school with a fever
It humiliated her, so I made sure it never happened again
I come from a family who's never sick
So when I came down sick and had to go to the doctor
she said I had pneumonia
i looked around the room to see if someone else was there
but no, she was talking to me
how could that be?
I'm one of those people who's kind of gotten sick
how could I have pneumonia?
sure I've had a fever, but it only lasts a couple days then I'm back to work
I'm one of those people who's hardly ever sick
I figured anyone who called in sick was either lazy or lacked discipline
it's what i've always thought but never said
Now I've been laid up for 5 of 6 work days
I was sick 2 days, came to work Wednesday
because I wasn't sick. it was Employee Shopping Day
I wanted that extra 10% off
I was coughing up phlegm on Wednesday night
So I called in sick Wednesday morning
No. Wait a minute. It was Thursday morning
I barely know how to call in sick
My doctor said to call in Thursday and Friday
and i even mess that up
did i say Wednesday and Thursday or Thursday and Friday off
I wasn't sure what day it was
I always feel incredibly guilty
sure it's okay if other's call in sick
they have good reasons, I rationalize
because it's generally not a good thing to say
they're lazy and lack discipline
so when i got a call Friday morning from the HR director
wondering why i wasn't at work on Friday morning
I didn't answer my phone
I had it turned off
didn't get the message 'til 5pm
why would anyone want to reach me during the daytime
Besides, I was sick
So I was angry
i'm sure i said i wouldn't be in Friday
the doctor said i wouldn't be in Friday
I'm not sure i said i wouldn't be in Friday
But i was sick, so i'm not sure of what i said
i'm often not sure of what i've said
I'm a very careful person
so i know
they are lazy and lack self discipline
but now
what does that make me?
i'm on codeine, ampicillin, and an inhaler
because I have pneumonia
but I couldn't have pneumonia
sometimes i wish ignorance was bliss
but i can't, because
I'm one of those people who never gets sick
aren't I?

denis streeter 12/10/17