December 23

"Doug it's Carolyn!"
"Doug it's Carolyn!"
Awake 9:30 AM Monday the 23rd on my day off
10 AM I hear a door panel pop
as the neighbor's front door beneath me
is wedged open...hear a gasped cry
I finish my exercises, shower, and breakfast
Open my front door and head downstairs
There's a police officer guarding the busted in door
Woody mustiness seeps out
A police investigator talks to a relative of Doug named Carolyn
I talk to her
My neighbor beneath me has passed away...
He was 66 years old, never married, increasingly reclusive
Condo neighbors had been trying to get in touch with him for over a week
He never answered phone calls or knocks on his door
His relatives didn't seem too concerned at first
He'd always been pretty ornery and reclusive
He'd had five heart attacks in the last couple years
The last anyone had heard from him was about a week and a half before
He called the condo board treasurer to say he was too weak to deliver his condo check
And taped it to his door
He had no friends
Perhaps he had some form of aspergers...for he had a brilliant mind...
But no people skills...
In years past he would call me and cuss me out for having the washer/dryer on too late
The garbage disposal piping leaking through his ceiling...that I fixed
His complaints were always right...just not kind
I tried to stay out of his way
The condo board was increasingly worried about him and wondered
If I heard anything immediately beneath me
I hadn't for the last couple weeks, but
I can be pretty oblivious...
"Doug it's Carolyn!"
"Doug it's Carolyn!"
I talked to Carolyn...
Doug was found on the floor beside his chair with a book near his hand
We guessed it was a heart attack, but at least he passed quickly
I talked to Carolyn about my love of books and how helpful Doug had been in the past
As the fix-it man of the condo
When did he begin his decline?
When will I begin my decline?
Has it already happened?
Who will come knocking at my door?
"Denis it's ...!"
"Denis it's ...!"
Will I be present or passed?
All I know is
I make a difference in this life I am living
How will I connect
In the time I have left?

Denis Streeter 12/30/13

Unknown

All the new that fell behind
Left in shelters of my mind
Camped in my house of many rooms
Open and close
Hibernation...
I am asleep through this waking life
Dull with what I have done and undone
Memory fails and then receives
Too late for what I must do
And what must I do?
The new has become old and more new coming in
Change and risk is what I must do
Not the risk that endangers my life...but yes...maybe that too
More the risk of connection and relationship
That makes my life and their life richer for our presence
And the learning...expansion...
Shall never cease.

Denis Streeter 12/23/13