Mac & Cheese: Living through the emptiness

I heard a child say
"Can we have macaroni and cheese?"
And found myself moving through sardonic theology.

I have never liked macaroni and cheese
Yet at Navos Mental Health
I had to eat what was given me
I made myself try it
Not as bad as I thought, but
Still bad
I found if I mixed with other foods like the vegetable dish
It was not so bad.

We reach out to others
Veggies and/or protein
To guide our turning
And then when we are no longer at Navos
We can go back to eating what we like
But we have been transformed
Hmm...well sort of
It just means
We can eat mac & cheese
Even though it's yucky and slimy
If we have to

Lord, let us sit with the emptiness
The mac & cheese
That we may reach beyond the yuckiness and slime
Add the veggies and protein
That we may be full.

Denis Streeter    2/28/16

it might be

the testing was all in his head
a series of dashes and dots
he didn't know Morse Code
just disruptive electrical impulses
snapping in his conflicted head

the traps were set there was nowhere to go
so he went forward anyway
bashing through barriers to unknown reefs
he could feels himself drowning but then
it was like he'd been pulled of nowhere

he gasped for air 'cause he'd forgotten to breathe
whatever impulses settling out
when his mind was left behind
it was like a good cry
but it was not therapeutic

it was a temporary escape
a necessary first step
on the way to recovery
how he hated that phrase
some greeting card truth

he left the barriers behind
going beyond his known
he could feel the freedom
he could feel the tug back
some unharnessed power

searching for that mental high
to fend off that low
not really wanting equilibrium
he'd had enough of that
just wanted something satisfying and true

but it was a hard turn
he tried over and over again
realign his true
and there was some wave, perhaps forgiveness
a protective comfort

he knew he'd have the synapses again
but felt better prepared
for the tried times
when air was empty
he could make himself full

and the colors changed from blue and black
to yellow and green
his seasons changing
dissociation rearranging
to begin renew

denis streeter   2/17/16

Sestina Pantoum

An experimentation of form
Somehow this new version appealed to the mathematical side of me.

Water wept upon the deep
Turning tunnels to wine
Emotions to barter
And it was not understood
What was to pay
Put on the shelf

Put on the shelf
Water wept upon the deep
What was to pay
Turning tunnels to wine
And it was not understood
Emotions to barter

What was to pay
Emotions to barter
Turning tunnels to wine
Put on the shelf
Water wept the deep
And it was not understood

Water wept the deep
Turning tunnels to wine
Emotions to barter
And it was not understood
What was to pay
Put on the shelf

And it was not understood
What was to pay
Water wept the deep
Emotions to barter
Put on the shelf
Turning water to wine

What was to pay
Emotions to barter
Turning water to wine
Put on the shelf
Water wept the deep
And it was not understood

Emotions weep barter deep
Shelf water to wine
And it was not understood to pay

Denis Streeter   2/14/16

knead to know

all that showed was the fight
its innocent heels and well marked treads
the sleezes looked down as the balls took over
just when the elbows got in the way
all the way to the toes and its well marked square
sharpened here and there with a justice scream
there was nothing in those days
just some dynamite for kixs
a stick to get you high
a blow to get you low
no vapor no wine
the copper came behind
some soul some lesion some doom
the cats were empty there was nothing to do
you could scramble but why
why hook the horses blind
there was nothing to do but nurse the matter
give it gravity and tell no one
but even that is too much
and the restaurants have litter to do
just a washer of habadashery
a gift of wine and a fruit basket
it was way too hard and had to be softened
but the corollary is off and had nothing to do
just some shelter and a parking space dressed as fruit
a dumping ground in the mind
laughter in the cupboard
made the bard sound better
unknown and wise
just a copy or two silenced them both
two characters without names or even an introduction
makes talking scarce and biscuits last
still the moon rise
cupples with soup
and the washers with dry

denis streeter    2/8/16