3, 2, 1,0

Earler this week I set my electric razor to a 3.  Then this morning on my birthday I set it to 2, 1, and finally 0 (just the razor).  I wanted to capture what my face would look like at each step of shaving history.  Most of all I wanted to see my full shaved face on my birthday, though I razored my head too.  Now it's just bald with a light spackling of white and grey...like light dirty snow fall in the beginning of summer.  I left my eyebrows.  Somehow they're the only thing that's brown...with dispatches of white.  My face is no longer itchy, particularly under my chinny chin chin...though it's red because I safety razored it too close.  I must have been thinking that if I shaved it closer, I would shave the itchiness away.  Now my chin is all red, like the hole in my chin was drinking too much.  I guess I wanted to try a new look on my birthday...and metaphorically I want to start that by having my whole face and head exposed to the elements...see what seeps through and what it becomes in the future. 

Hernia recovery zone

Night five in the hernia recovery zone.  I took a shower for the first time since Tuesday, cleaned place for the first time since...  We won't go into that.  I think I got tired of smelling my pajamas.  So I did a load of laundry, changed into real clothes, had real meals today.  Usually I've just had nuts, bananas, and pills.  I guess that explains a lot.  My appetite is back though I'm still icing myself.  I think that's why I took a shower...to wash the icing off.  Now I'm lower cholesterol.  Maybe the upped dosage of Oxycodone is making me loopy...though I'm getting lost of rest.  I finally broke through from my place of confinement from Herniacane Dan...and took about a half mile walk.  I understand now why the jock strap and lots of icing.  I know...TMI  Speaking of TMI, I had my first bowel movement in four days.  I guess I'm eating enough now.  I officially sound old now...getting excited about a bowel movement.  I was warned by an older poet who has been through many surgeries that this day would come.  Time to finish this blog, have my nuts and Oxycodone, read, and sleep.  I'm supposed to have food with medication but I'm already bananas and nuts.

Vacuum cleaner RIP

I think I killed my vacuum cleaner.  That's probably a good thing.  I think most people clean their place once a day, a week, a month, a year.  For me it's been...well...I won't say.  But I feel better about my place.  I threw out a bunch of papers and put my "lost" books in their shelves.  The bathroom and the kitchen are cleaned up.  I swept everything onto the rugs.  Then I turned on the vacuum cleaner.  It wasn't long before it started to whine.  Then it started to smell like burned rubber.  I continued to vacuum.  Finally as it began to lose power, the whine turned to a whimper.  I made it clean up a few last clumps.  It's my mother's old upright Hoover vacuum cleaner.  Time to get something new.  Who knows...Maybe it will encourage me to clean more often.  Still have a lot more to do, but it feels manageable now.  I have the windows open now to get rid of that burned rubber smell.  I think it's the smell of guilt...

Dead End In Norvelt

That's been my surgery recovery book.  It's the 2012 Newbery winner by Jack Gantos.  I've been reading his books for years and am embarrassed to admit I finally realized he won the Newbery for this book about three weeks ago.  They announced the Newbery nearly six months ago.  I heard about it first during an radio piece on Jack Gantos.  Then I bought it a week ago. It's a very strange book to finish reading while recovering from a hernia operation.  It's morbid yet incredibly funny.  It's wildly creative yet filled with interesting historical facts that weave a madcap plot that seems true.  I don't want to give away the morbid yet poignant joys of this book.  Just read it.  There's a good reason it won this year.  There were many times in this book where I had to hold back laughter, because I didn't want any stitches to come loose.  If you've never read any Jack Gantos, I suggest reading any of the "Joey Pigza" books...a kid with ADHD and and an incredible set of characters.  Having read "Dead End in Norvelt", I see Jack Gantos' style in all his characters.  He knows how to tell a great story.  I also highly recommend his 1993 memoir "A Hole in My Life"...which in some ways feels like a very frank yet funny account of his later years.  With everything that has gone wrong in his life, Jack Gantos has a great sense of humor.

Wednesday

Tuesday I felt fine after hernia surgery...so I didn't take any pain pills before going to bed.  Mistake!  Woke up at 3:30 AM and gradually rolled and pulled my way out of bed.  Walking to the kitchen probably registered about a 9 on the pain scale.  I was shaking, my forehead sweating, felt nauseous, and could barely walk.  I took one pain pill with food and went back to bed.  Eventually got some sleep.  Took another pain pill four hours later, but wasn't feeling any better...had no appetite.  Called the doctor.  He said to up the prescription from one to two, so before noon I had two pills, read for half an hour, and went back to bed.  This time I had a good sleep.  Woke to a phone call.  My clogging group, the Eclectic Cloggers, was going to bring food over for me.  This time I felt more mobile and less pain...and half an hour later food arrived at my door!  I felt so fortunate.  My appetite is coming back.  Even though I'm still in pain, I feel lucky to have so many people looking after me.

Tuesday

That's the title to a great picture book by David Wiesner which won the Caldecott in 1991.  If you have not seen this marvelous book, you're in for a treat.  To say more would spoil the mystery. 

Tuesday is also the day I had hernia surgery.  It went well and I am grateful for so many who held me in prayer and support.  I will be about a week or two in recovery...we'll see.  I usually heal quickly but won't push it.  I feel good now.  We'll see how I'm feeling in the next 24-48 hours.  I have Oxycodone and Senna Plus to help me out with that...which I will only take when necessary. 

I have lots of reading and hopefully poetry to write.  If I write or read something I feel is good, you'll probably see it here.

Good karma

I was waiting in a long line at Safeway to buy groceries.  A man about my age behind me voices his frustration..."You mean there's no more cashiers?"  I say without turning around "I don't know."  In my mind I'm thinking of downsizing, people on breaks, people who didn't show up.  I also realize I'm in no hurry, but he appears to be.  I have a large amount of groceries and a $100 gift card that I'm not sure will work.  He has only a few items.  I turn around and tell him he can go ahead of me.  He says, "That's okay.  I'm in no hurry."  I tell him I have a lot of items and a gift card that I'm not sure will work, so it may be awhile.  He smiles and says "That's okay."  Then I say, "I have an ulterior motive.  I'm having hernia surgery next Tuesday, so I could use all the good karma I can get."  He laughs and says, "That's a good reason" and goes ahead.  My transaction goes through more smoothly than I expected.  I felt better and the man behind me in line left in a much better frame of mind.  I'll see how Tuesday goes...

Vision

And when the world's conceit got walking
There was nothing left to see
Just an owl or two
And a few crocodiles
Eating clocks to stop time fly
The worms woke up
Blunt and pointed diggers
Creating tunnels and caverns
That made plants so happy
And when the world's conceit got walking
The trees breathed heavy sighs
Of relief as birds and squirrels and...
Tickled their branches
Their roots
And the moon smiled
Glowing nature's wakefulness
Thinking this festival for her
And when the world's conceit got walking
There was nothing left to see
Conceit woke their busyness
Noticing nothing in nature
The moon blinked away
Waiting to rise in fullness
Though fully present
Waiting
Nature
Waiting
There was nothing left to see.

Denis Streeter  6/17/12

Pappa Pellerin's Daughter

"Blackflower, moonlight, snakeberry plant..."
These are the words Loella hisses at people in a bad mood.
"Whiteflower, sunshine, squirrelberry plant", when she's in a good mood.
Loella is a fascinating creation by Swedish children's writer Maria Gripe in "Pappa Pellerin's Daughter (1965).  She lives in a small cottage in the forest where she cares for her two small twin brothers.  Both her mother and father are gone and she prefers not having company...with a few exceptions.  She is nicknamed "Loopy Loella" by townfolk and built a scarecrow named "Pappa Pellerin" which she dresses in her long gone father's clothes to keep people away.  However child welfare services take the children away and Loella learns to live in the town orphanage...where she never stops dreaming for the return of her father.  I don't want to say much more about the book.  There is so much for you to explore.  The plot has a perfect story arc and emotional resonance.  There is darkness but also light in the beautifully written book.  Despite Loella's many travails, she never gives up hope.  It's out-of-print, but probably available at the library through inter-library loan or find an inexpensive copy online.  In an odd sort of way, it seems like the perfect Father's Day book.

The Glassblower's Children

I just finished reading this book by Maria Gripe.  It was originally published in Sweden in 1964.  I first read it about 25 years ago and it somehow remained in my memory.  I like it just as much the second time around, perhaps more because I admire her vision and craft.  It's like a Swedish fairy tale gone horribly wrong but with a good ending.  The illustrations by her husband Harald Gripe complement the writing perfectly.  I did a bit of research on Maria Gripe.  She's sold more books than any other Swedish children's writer except possibly Astrid Lindgren...of Pippi Longstocking fame.  Check out Maria Gripe's books from the library.  I did.  I intend to re-read the "Hugo and Josephine" trilogy and "The Night Daddy".  The next book of hers I'll read is "Pappa Pellerin's Daughter"(1966).  I never read that and it won the Lewis Carroll Shelf Award.  I did a little research on that.  These are books that were determined could sit proudly on the same shelf as any books by Lewis Carroll.  The awards started in the 1950's and ended in 1979...the year I graduated from high school.  It's really a shame they stopped presenting that award.  Look for yourself.  Many of children's literature's best books are on that list.  You may be surprised how many you've read.  I know I'm going to check out more books from the library based on what is on the award list.  So...go to your library and check out anything that resonates with you by Maria Gripe.  I don't think her books are in print anymore.

Another Swedish writer/illustrator to check out is Elsa Beskow.  I read two books of hers years ago and loved the illustrations..."Peter in Blueberry Land" and "Children of the Forest".  I re-read them recently.  The illustrations are amazing...a beautifully imaginative fairy tale like quality.  In fact I think I've seen some of her prints on greeting cards.  I believe her books are still in print and there are several copies at your local library.

Too many books...but I guess that's a good thing!

oblivious

all the waits forward
some signs of sight
sighing to be out
where the tempests bloom
beside the casket closing
not that anyone noticed
pushed aside waded through
nothing left
but the dry hoppers why
and the ink exposed
waving in the wind
kestrels of distress
while the by and larges
caught up with barges
histrionic cliche social studies
in the heart
living apart
spell checked
when wedding bells burnt the fire
shot the wings
some travesty of divorce court
counting twos by threes
no settlement
just that long drawn
out continuum
in life
bottom top feeders metronome scope
disinfecting your mouth your mind
just cold
all controlled
more out than in
and the staging begins
your smaller and wiser
sharp as a dull metaphor
matador met a door
walked through it
just cold
watching his oceans flow
some plank his eye pulled out
oblivious
to the known
in some unknown
understanding.

denis streeter  6/3/12