Slower

I could feel it this morning
Mattress carrying lower back pain
Concave holding tension in
Roll out of bed
Walk to sink to shave
Bend at waist and feel my back give slightly
So I bend my knees to keep back straight
I feel its weakness
Finish shaving, saline nose, put dishes away
Lie down in bed
Trying to figure the pain
It's the same but I don't quite have words for it
That feeds my tension
I hate not having words for what I feel
Turn on computer
Write out these words
Look out my window...
Rain...
Slide open window to hear its roof patter
Slide window back
My back...a weather barometer of change
Wondering...
How much will I be able to do
How much should I try to do
Feeling physical toll of last week
Every movement has its measure
Every thought takes its toll
Every typed word takes time away
What will the day bacome?
I don't know
Take it slow.

Denis Streeter 9/26/11